Love Letter...Type Writer

Dear Sissy,

I wanted you to know that I Love you...More than Life itself, and I ALWAYS have. Today I was thinking about our relationship...where it has been???...and where it is going?. I Must say that I am quite afraid for you. I hate to see you waste your Beautiful life away. You are an amazing Girl, with all the potential in the world. Sometimes, I just feel like you don't care enough about yourself. I want to see you grow up to be an Amazing Woman and Mommy.....Will that ever happen? we used to be "Best Friends". When we were growing up, we did Everything Together. Never Apart. We played house, we jumped on the trampoline until we couldn't jump anymore, we laughed until it Hurt, we Cried together, and even though we didn't have a lot of money....we Were Happy Together! You were my Best friend...and I wish i could have that back? But something took that from me! I don't know what has happened to my Beautiful sister. Do you even love yourself anymore? All I can Say Is that I Love You!!! And I want you to know that. You can Always come to me..... I want you to come to me! Our relationship Now...is so Distant and full of Anger and Dishonesty. When will it stop? When did we become this way? And Why does it have to be this way? Sometimes I just cry.... Because I want so badly for you to be a part of my life. I get jealous and hurt when  I see you talking and sharing things with other people...and you wont even talk to me. It seems like everytime we speak, we argue. I don't ever call with those intentions. But somehow, it Always happens. I want my Sissy Back!!! and I want her back NOW! I want to be able to Laugh until our Tummies hurt, and Cry until we have no more tears! I need my Best friend in my life! I Just want her to get help.... You know I am always here..I Love You...and I will be waiting for my Sissy.... Now and Forever! I Miss You!

Fascinating...Why after so long?

So, Two days ago....I am talking to my Friend Elena, on skype. Then my phone Vibrates. Not reckognizing the number, I quickly opened the message, to see who it was from. I was Astounded. I could Not believe it, Dave....The man whom I almost ruined my marriage with. If it wasn't hard enough to see his name in that message, he went on to apologize. That apology, I believe meant more to me, than any apology I had Ever received. It had been 5 Months since we last spoke. After receiving the message...I called him. Maybe not a good idea. But I had to know...why now?? Why after so long, did it matter? And this is what he said, " I have lost a dear friend recently, and on my way home, the second person to pop into my head was you, and how I had done you wrong." I was floored. Never in a million years would I have guessed this. We continued chatting for a while. It was as if Nothing had ever happened between us. It wasn't akward at all. In fact we had an amazing time. We laughed, until we couldn't laugh anymore. We talked about the things that had happened in our lives since the day we stopped talking. I told him Thank you....as he kind of chuckled under his breath. I said," I know it may sound odd, But you saved my marriage." I to this day believe, had it not been for what happened between us, my Husband and I would have Never been forced to discuss issues that we had never dared to cross before. I know it must sound strange. But at this stage in my Marriage, things had very quickly gone from Amazing to nothing short of Awful. I couldn't handle it anymore. So Yes...I Thanked Him. At this time, I feel as though we can Be friends again. He was one of my good friends, and that's just something I'm not willing to compromise on. I discussed this with my husband, as I have No reason to hide anything. He understands where I am coming from. He says,"I trust you" which is amazing to me. I have Not heard those words in quite sometime. I believe that in these past few days, our adventure together has just begun. So My question to you is.... WHY?? Why after so Long, did it matter to him?

Am I failing miserably.....Or is it YOU?

So, I feel as if I have lost who I am. I used to have what I would call "Best Friends". Lately it seems as though, No matter what I do to keep these relationships going...They Fail me. Everytime.  I Finally realized that I have spent so much time and put so much effort into retaining these relationships, that I lost the purpose on the way. I don't understand why I put so much time into People who aren't worth it. I use to think that Everyone was "worth it". WHY? If these Friends don't have time for me, because they are too busy. Then why am I spending so much of my Time on them? Answer me this...Do you really believe there is a such thing as "True Friends", or is Everyone just in our lives for the Moment? When it's Convenient for them. Is it really me that's Failing? Or is it you?